Coffee Talk: Candice


Hi! It's me today. There's something I've been doing a lot of thinking about, and thought it appropriate to share with you, in the hope that maybe you're learning the same, or can find something that's applicable to your life from my musings. Let's chat. 

Today I wanted to talk about a subject that's not the easiest thing to discuss; however, it happens all the time, in most places, and should be mentioned...jealousy. Yep. the green-eyed monster that can kill creativity, change friends into enemies, and make even the greatest of ideas seem pathetic. It doesn't loudly announce its presence, or we'd never accept it, instead, it creeps in, quietly changing us little by little until it's work is done. Yikes. Scary, right?

I've seen it happen in many, many situations, and unfortunately also in the blog world in a huge way.  After talking with a friend of mine over coffee one day, she mentioned that trying to compare herself and her work with others often took the fun out of her writing, and affected her willingness to continue blogging...let's not allow that to happen. The root of this issue is really a lack of confidence, and when we allow ourselves to introduce comparison into our situtation, there's really no way to avoid the natural progression into jealous thinking.."Why don't I look like so-and-so" or "how come I don't have.." or "how come they have so many followers?" "I wish that I'd get .." Jealousy is not a healthy thing to have in your life, and it can take something fun and turn it into a nightmare if you're not careful to recognize the signs and change.

Why do we compare ourselves against others? Perhaps the real reason is our lost confidence in ourselves, our purpose, or our faith. Maybe you don't start off feeling jealous of someone else, but over time you find your thinking changed. Silly comparisons and competitive-type thinking can soon turn into something much more.  Jealousy is dangerous. It's creativity's killer, a strain on friendships, and can eat you up inside. I urge you; don't allow yourself to fall into the comparison trap..you'll never be satisfied because no matter how hard you try, you'll never be anyone else but you.

 I've stressed this fact many times on this blog, but it's important enough to be mentioned again: 
You have a unique purpose, a special mission, if you will, to accomplish on this earth. No one else can fulfill that calling; only you, with all the talent and ability you've been given (and that is much!) can make it happen. 

God has put you in the life situation you're in for a reason..don't waste that time thinking and wishing you were someone else; instead, find your purpose and run with it. Comparisons keep you from living life, believe me, I've tried. Leave that behind and you'll find peace. Understand this: we are all human, we all mess up, and life isn't perfect. By running from the person that you are, you'll only discover how flawed everyone else is too. We may put on a good front, fooling those around us, but in reality, you'll  find that no matter how "perfect" someone's life may seem, you're only seeing what they want you to see; there's always more behind the scenes. Changing lives with someone else won't make problems go away. Become secure in who you are, and learn to love the person you've been created to be. Here's a great thought, 



Comparison and jealousy won't lead to confidence or success. The world needs people who are true to their calling, true to who they are. Become the best version of yourself, and without a doubt, people will love you for it. 

-Candice

9 comments

Gennean said...

I've seen that Steven Furtick quote before - such a good one! I agree with what you've said about not letting our comparison rob of us what we have to share!

Cait said...

perfectly said candice :) xo

A lily in the valley said...

Thank you so much for sharing. I needed to hear all of this. I can't wait to share this post with my friends and family! Keep writing Sweet Candince!

Lauren said...

so well written and eloquently discussed! great message :)

Shay said...

I love this post. I have really struggled with comparing myself to others in the past and striving every day to let that go has really strengthened me.

Maddy said...

So honest and encouraging! Thanks for the humbling reminder!

Bev said...

This is SOOO what I needed to hear/read my friend! Thank you for saying the unsaid... for reminding us to stop trying to be someone we are NOT, and just trying to fulfill our own lives to the best we are able to! "we'll never be anyone else but ourselves" is very comforting to hear... so the fact that we are always comparing ourselves to celebrities.. to other bloggettes... to our friends is redick!

Thanks for the encouragement and power to be myself!

xo, Bev

Julia D. said...

I really like that quote. While I don't think jealously is productive, I do see the point in looking at someone else's life and learning from it. I find its a great way to modify what isn't working in your own life or to discover new passions.

Denise Lopatka said...

hi there! i'm new to your blog and just scrolling through some of your recommended posts. this post is wonderful. so true and well written :) xox

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