Rhythms of Grace

Have you ever felt like something was forced? Like you were trying so hard to make something happen that maybe just wasn't quite right? Lots of effort and no movement or return? I've been there before, and thought a lot about this recently. Sometimes I think we see things like faith or even our daily routines in this light. We do all these things to keep "busy", but what kind of return does it provide? I recently spent a weekend by the beach, and one of the most soothing, mesmerizing things is the consistency of the waves breaking upon the shoreline. As I watched the sun sinking below the horizon, and listened to the sound of the waves, I was reminded of the effortless rhythm of the ocean. It isn't forced, it's free--free to be wild and strong, and never tries to become something that it isn't. Isn't that a picture of what grace is like? We may paint it to be something that's constricting, and perhaps in light of how people view/do religion, that may very well be, but in reality, grace is freedom, unforced and consistent. As I've pondered this thought for the last few days, I awoke one morning with the phrase "unforced rhythms of grace" in my mind. A quick search provided the full passage found in Matthew 11, verses 28-30, which says,

"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

Unforced rhythms of grace...simple, easy, freeing. Isn't that how we want to feel? Not weighed down by the burdens of this world, or confined by what society says we should say/act/do, but free--free to live, to breathe, and to love. Unforced, unfettered, and alive. I love how scripture describes the way in which we can obtain this kind of life. In fact, it almost sounds like a rhyme or rhythm in it's sound.
Walk with me, work with me--watch how I do it
There's the key. I don't have to do things on my own, try to become perfect, or conform to something that isn't consistent with who I am. It's grace, unforced and consistent. I don't have to try to earn it, I just have to live in it. All I have to do is walk with Him, work with Him, and watch how He does it. It's something so simple it's almost complex...how could it be that easy? Are you sure?
Walk with me, work with me--watch how I do it. 

Unforced rhythms of grace. You are not confined to standard of perfection, walk in the abundance and freedom of grace.

''Walk with me, work with me--watch how I do it.'' 

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How To Handle Criticism

At one point or another, we're going to face some criticism. When this happens, we have two choices: to react and take things personally, or to look at it objectively and grow from it. How do you most often respond? Experiencing conflict and criticism is a normal part of life, as we are all different people with various opinions/backgrounds/life experiences; however, the way in which we handle it will determine if it has a positive or negative effect on us. Here's a few ways to handle criticism in a healthy, beneficial way.

1. Understand the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. 
(Criticism is destructive, but suggestions are constructive.) See criticism as a positive stepping stone on the pathway to your growth.

2. Don't take yourself too seriously. 
Learn to laugh at yourself, and enjoy a big dose of grace. You are not the first, nor the last, to experience correction and critical words. Smile, dance, shake it off...you're going to make it.

3. Look past the criticism and see the critic. 
What are they dealing with in their own life that they are filtering the criticism through? Is there anything in their criticism that can actually be beneficial to you? If so, grow! If not, drop it.

4. Realize that good people get criticized. 
As someone once said, "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be someone who doesn't like peaches." Seriously, even the nicest, most wonderful people are going to discover someone who doesn't like what they're doing. Even Jesus faced frequent criticism.

5. Keep up your strength.
Stay strong in your faith and in the physical sense. Feelings of depression and discouragement tend to take root in fatigued bodies and spirits. Build up strength by engaging in spirit-building habits (suggestions here), and stay strong physically by doing some sort of exercise on a frequent basis!

6. Focus on what counts. 
It's easy to get stuck on what someone said or did that bothered you, but instead, shift your focus to the many people that are focused on helping you! In reality, there's many more interested in your success than the few that want to take you down. Invest your time with the ones who build you up!

7. Concentrate on your mission, then address the mistakes. 
What is your end goal? What's the reason why you do what you do? That goal or mission will never be accomplished if all you continue to dwell on are the mistakes. Learn from the experience or the criticism and move forward! There's greater things to come!

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What's Your Why?

We all want to be successful in life. An important component of success is knowing what you stand for. One can look at any major company and easily come across their vision/mission statement, detailing exactly what the organization holds as important or as truth. What about you? So many of us drift through life, simply reacting to situations, yet never really defining what it is that we hold as valuable or consider to be truth in our life. A journey taken with no direction never accomplished anything of significant value.

Do you have a personal mission statement?
What is it that you believe you do that makes a difference to others and to mankind as a whole?
Or, in other words, why do you do what you do? What is the reason behind your actions?

The objective behind defining a mission is not the creation of goals, but rather life purpose. It is designed to direct and express your values and beliefs. It provides guidance and direction, not goals, although those will certainly compliment your mission statement. I think of it as a life map of sort. Your mission statement will and should grow and change over time. You will enter and exit various seasons of life, and discover new strengths and challenges within. In fact, you may take on several missions that coincide with the various areas of your life, so be open and ready for that.

"To live a mission requires that you realize you can make a difference in this world, and requires that you practice the strengths to fulfill your mission." (Marcus Buckingham, Soar With Your Strengths)

Challenge yourself to sit down for a few moments and write out a personal mission statement. What is it that you truly believe in? Why do you do those things that bring you greatest fulfillment? What do you hold to be truth or to have value in life? This activity provides the framework for increased success, clearer direction, and continued personal growth.

What's your why?

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Just Do It

Things have been a little busy around here lately...and this is why!

Big dreams in life often require three things:

1. Time

2. Hard Work

3. Focus

I don't know what big goals you're in the process of achieving, for me it was my master's degree, but I want you to know that those goals are so worth the achievement process. The feeling of walking onto the field to Pomp & Circumstance, with thousands of others from across the globe, surrounded by a entire stadium packed full of people cheering for you is well worth the late nights, long hours, and months of hard work. Remember that nothing great is ever achieved alone, so don't forget to thank those around you who helped to encourage and support you along the way. Stay the course, persevere, and you will reap the incredible reward of achieving your dream. In the words of Nike, "just do it".

The life you dream of is waiting for you...will you live it?

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Made to Shine

(via Danielle LaPorte)

Recently I've been thinking about this idea of shining/glowing/luminous/radiant nature. We crave light, but at the same time it exposes our weaknesses. In the darkness we can hide a collection of secrets, but it is the light that brings to life the passion and purpose within. It seems as though we are often told to suppress the light or to dim our light in order to not offend or intimidate others. I think we are afraid to shine at times because we do not know what incredible potential God has placed within. Or perhaps we are afraid of what we are truly capable of if we really decided to embrace our calling.  It comes as no surprise that we are attacked almost daily on the basis of keeping our light dim... we're told to fit in, embrace the status quo, stick with the crowd... just. be. normal. 

What if we weren't created for normal? What if 'dim' isn't wasn't what we were designed for? 

What if...

We chose to embrace the light instead of darkness?

We saw ourselves as people of talent, ability, and passion?

We answered the calling to shine and dispel the darkness?

We realized we were made to shine in order that our light would illuminate the lives of others, so they feel the freedom to do the same? 

What if you knew that we were designed to be creatures of radiance not creatures of darkness?

You are not created for average, normal, weak, dim, or boring. You are a reflection of incredible love, life, and beauty. Regardless of whether you realize it or even see it within yourself yet, your life was made for brilliance, not shadows. 

Playing it safe, just blending in, and following the crowd does not serve the world...it only keeps you from an incredible life. Decide not to hold back any longer. Your life is in existence for such a time as this, and your radiance will make life worthwhile and contribute much to this world. Choose it and use it. 

Your true nature is not darkness. You have been created for light. You have brilliance within. 

Shine bright. 

p.s. I just want to say a BIG thank you to all of you for the support and encouragement you have shown over my book! You are awesome. Ok, back to regularly scheduled programming here ;)

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The BIG Reveal

One of the most wonderful moments in life is the place when all your hard work, dedication, discipline, and goals collide, and suddenly you realize that dreams really do come true. It's a magical kind of feeling, one that makes you so happy you want to dance around in circles, jump up and down, and hug the person next to you. I've been keeping a secret, and it's finally time to announce that...

 I wrote my first book with my good friend (and fellow blogger), Jenni Joslyn, and it's going to be available next month! After a year's worth of writing, editing drafts, and putting together the perfect design, it's amazing to say that it's actually a reality. Some time ago I scribbled the goal, "I am a published author", onto a 3x5 card, and kind of forgot about it for a little while. Life happened, and I was focusing my priorities elsewhere. Then, God reminded me of that dream once again, and said, 'it's time', and so the writing process began. When dreams are this big, it takes a team to accomplish it, and I have to say it's been so wonderful to have worked with such an incredible group of people to bring this piece to fruition!

About the Book

Society constantly sends us messages on beauty, relationships, careers, and life choices. With all the pressure on women to live up to media standards, we're left asking, "Can you really have it all?" Join youth mentors and good friends, Candice Henry and Jennifer Joslyn, as they discuss what it means to be young women who follow God's call of leadership in their lives. Candice, a former pageant winner, and Jenni, a former model and actress, know what it's like to live under the expectations of society's standards. They invite you to join the conversation as they share their experiences and secrets to true beauty, finding success, and living a fulfilling life. From Me to You will guide you through a two-week exploration of beauty and body image, careers, relationships, friendships, and other life lessons from a faith-based perspective. Candice and Jenni encourage you to embrace your passion, purpose, and greatness within.

Sharing this with you is a part of living the dream that I've prayed about for so long. I cannot wait for the official release in February, and would absolutely love for you to be a part of our launch team. To join the fun, please send me a note through the contact page with the subject "Launch Team", and I'll get all the information to you about the BIG day!

Thank you for being a part of the dream. Jenni and I look forward to doing life with you through this book! Stay tuned for the official release date, where to purchase, a cinematic trailer, giveaways and more!

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Why I Don't Watch TV

Confession time: I don't watch TV...I know, cue the weird looks and questions. I didn't grow up with cable, spending Saturday mornings watching cartoons, and probably couldn't tell you many of the shows that are on to this day. No, I didn't grow up on a deserted island, and as strange as it may be to some, I'm actually quite ok with the fact that I never really invested much time in front of the screen. My parents were really adamant that I get outside to play, read books, and try all kinds of fun activities (hello 12 years of ballet) that were interesting to me. Looking back now, I see how intentional they were about something, and the effect (very positive, in this case) that it has had on my life. This got me thinking...are we intentional about certain things in our own lives? Do you do things on purpose because you're tracking for a certain goal, or do you just kind of drift through life, taking everything as it comes? I don't know about you, but I sure want to be a person of intention. Instead of waiting for life to just happen, wasting moments on things that are of little value, let's become intentional about how we invest our time. 

Personally, I take a little time each Sunday evening to plan out my schedule for the coming week, and to prepare any materials I might need for meetings and other events coming up. It's the little preparations that keep me intentional about how utilize my time. For example, exercise is an important part of my life, and I am intentional about getting some kind of a workout in every. single. day. Sometimes it's a struggle to wake up extra early to squeeze in that run or to do something after a long day at work, but the hard work and discomfort is worth the results of feeling and looking good. The same way that my parents were intentional about what I watched when I was a child, is similar to what I allow myself to watch, read and listen to, even now. Negative thoughts, people, and information are easily accessible, and that's not the kind of influences I want directing my life, so it's become something that I am very diligent about monitoring. If something is not bringing positivity or beneficial results to my life in some way, I cut it out of my life. Sound strict? Yeah, it is, and I realize that other people might think that it's weird or harsh, but we're looking at results here, and I'm willing to do what it takes to get the results that will come from that kind of discipline. I can't speak for you or your goals, but I can encourage you to examine your own life, and see if you're being intentional about how you live your life, invest your time, and create your habits. Trust me, the people who accomplish great things don't ever do it "on accident"; everything is always, always about habits and discipline. Can you imagine an athlete just walking up to the Olympics to compete without ever training for their event? Certainly not! Each one has trained, prepared, and faced the discomfort of all the hard work that is required to become the best in their country for that sport. To get what you want, you must begin to plan your life around doing what it takes to get there. 

Take a moment right now and ask yourself, "Am I living an intentional kind of life?"

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Acceptance, Insecurities & Social Media

I quickly scanned the notifications on Facebook, checked my Instagram feed, updated my Tumblr, responded to blog comments & tweeted back to someone all in a matter of about 10 minutes, and later got to thinking..how often do I find myself with a few minutes of time to do whatever I want, and immediately begin to scroll on social media? We check our phones, Facebook, email, Twitter, etc. multiple times a day, and then complain about the lack of time in our lives to do what we “need to do” or want to be doing. I think it’s time to begin to introduce a little self-control when it comes to social media. Do you really need to post another “selfie” or be up to the minute on what everyone else around you is doing? What really matters in life? How many followers we have on Instagram, or those real relationships we have in our lives?

 I sat down to lunch with a friend the other day, and the conversation turned to the fact that many of us used to have pen pals, and be so excited to receive a written update on the other person’s life, phone calls were the preferred method of communication, and with a good friend or special someone, could often last for hours. People would look forward to meeting up for a coffee or lunch to catch up on the latest ongoings, while now we can find out every little detail of what our friends have been up to via photos, tweets, check-ins & status updates. Is social media wrong? Absolutely not. Does it serve a purpose? Certainly. Do we need to perhaps shift our perspective on it? I think so. Many in the generations before us have often commented that our generation is very narcissistic, entitled and too connected to technology, and while I don’t agree completely, I have to acknowledge the truth that perhaps they are right about something. You see, our connection to technology is really fueled by the need for connection...we join social networks to gain that sense of belonging, the essence of what every human desires is the acceptance and connection to others who acknowledge your worth. Now most of us wouldn’t say that we joined Facebook, Tumblr or Instagram to be fulfilled in life, but when we get new followers, likes on photos and comments on our status updates, doesn’t it feed that innate desire to base our happiness on other’s approval? We take our photos from just the right angle, we add filters to make things appear a certain way, and post our meals, favorite places, and self-portraits to be shared with the world..for what? While I appreciate the connectivity that comes from being able to find out what a friend is up to, or to be reminded of a birthday (admit it, we’ve all been there!), there’s a growing deterioration of creating relationships that are built on time invested with people, in person. 

Our society is one that runs on a “busy” time schedule, and we want our information, food, and things immediately, and forget that things of value often take time. One of the most important things in life is the people that are around you. Invest in those relationships, find your worth and security not in an amount of “likes” or “followers” on social networks, as those change almost instantaneously, but rather search for your acceptance in the one opinion that matters most, God. People’s opinions change, we see this all the time with trends in music, fashion, and celebrities, but when you begin to discover the beauty that each person holds within, and invest time in relationships that matter, you’ll no longer desire the fleeting, counterfeit “happiness” that social media tries to feed us. Now, before you think I'm totally bashing the usage of all Social Media, please understand this: I appreciate it, and I work with it on an almost daily basis for my job, as well as for fun, and within this blogging community. I've even gotten a degree that required multiple courses that focused on understanding how it can become a powerful tool for both business communication and branding, so I don't think it's completely terrible. 

So what's the solution to this ever growing obsession? Should we rid ourselves of all our accounts? No, but I do think that in finding a balance, and living life instead of documenting every little thing, we’ll find that we don’t need to rely on it as much as we first thought. To help me keep things in perspective, a little break from social media every now and then helps to reset my outlook. I choose to leave my phone off while seeing a friend or while I'm doing things with family because sometimes being in the moment is more important than documenting it. It helps me to remember to enjoy life for what it is. There’s beauty in every moment if we disconnect ourselves long enough to enjoy it. Instead of the constant barrage of words, photos and opinions, fill your mind with beautiful things, enjoy the day, live a little. Life is far more wonderful that way. 

What are your thoughts on social media? Love it? Hate it? 
How do you find the balance between online time and real life?

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Mantra Monday

We're coming into the last week in January (what?!), and all month long we've been talking about what inspires us. Each Monday I've been sharing a quote that's encouraging me (and you too, hopefully) to make 2014 absolutely amazing!! Need to catch up on a week? Find the previous Mondays linked HERE, HERE & HERE

Don't we just love to be busy? I tend to be a person that thrives on a schedule that's full of events, appointments and things to accomplish, but have you stopped to evaluate what exactly you're doing on a daily basis? Recently, I took some time to look at my daily habits, schedule and routine, and did a little tweaking. You see, we often think, "oh, if only I could be so-and-so, or have the life that this person does, or have an extra hour/day/week in this year.. then I could live the way I wanted to." Here's the deal, if we don't examine & adjust our daily living, how will we ever change to get to the life we want? John Maxwell, a well renown teacher on leadership, once said, "the secret to success is hidden in your daily routine." It's often times the little things done over and over, that in turn become the big achievements later. 

This past weekend, my pastor spoke about how we need to trade idle time for purposed time, and that means we need to evaluate what we're doing. Busyness without productivity gets us nothing but frustration, so let's set some goals, look at what needs to be done to get there, and arrange our habits accordingly. The question listed above is something I've begun to ask myself on a daily basis, and I encourage you to do so also. What things are you doing today to get you to where you want to be tomorrow? If it's not benefiting your future and turns into "idle time", consider using your time in a different way. When preparedness meets opportunity, that's when we see success. Here's to a productive, dream-filled, goal-oriented, incredible 2014! Get out there and make things happen! 

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Mantra Monday

With the arrival of a new year, I began thinking about what I wanted to accomplish, the things I wanted to change, and how I would begin to shape this year into something brimming over with fun, life and success. Quotes have always inspired and intrigued me; I keep Pinterest boards full, snapshots of random sayings stored in my photos, stacks of paper scraps with wise words, and an ever growing list of quotes stored on my iphone. It's funny how some words just seem to resonate with you at particular points in life, and recently I pondered the thought of having a theme word/saying/quote/reminder for the year. It's so difficult to narrow it down to one, so I thought I'd share 4 of my favorites over the next few Mondays, in hopes that you'll find one that speaks to you, come up with one for your own musing & inspiration, or at the very least, come across thoughts that perhaps spark new ideas.

Oh I just adore this quote, first, because Nelson Mandela was an incredible and passionate leader, and a true inspiration in every sense of the word, but secondly for it's idea. It astounds me to see how apathy has infected the society and attitudes of so many, we think that settling for average, wallowing in contentment, and deciding to play it safe, small and "normal" is ok, when in reality, we have been called to far more. How often have we seen someone with such potential, be it in sports, acting, music, business..etc, and yet watch them sit back, and never fully utilize the talent they possess, and achieve all that they could have? Its frustrating to see something like that, and how often have we seen this behavior in our own lives? Like Mandela says, there is no passion in that kind of a life, no spark, no drive to push toward greater things...and yet many of us settle. The motivation behind this mantra is for you and I to no longer be content with average, normal and standard, but rather to live with greatness, test your limits of potential, and walk in the life that was designed for you to live; a life of adventures, successes, great memories, lessons and impact. Here's the deal, if you're going to get in the water, might as well make a splash. Live with purpose and passion in 2014.

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Problems & Dreams

(image via)

I posted this photo on instagram recently, as it's been something that's been on my mind lately. The circumstances, situations and things we deal with on a daily basis can easily affect our lives and attitudes...if we let them. Excuse me, what? You might be saying "but you don't know my situation and what I've been through..." I don't know where you've been, and what trials you've endured, but I do know this: our attitude should be independent of our circumstances. You and I have the power to choose our outlook on life, and we can, as Emerson put it, "be led by your dreams". 

Have you ever been in a situation and held on to the tiniest bit of hope, even though you knew, or perhaps everything around you said "it's just not going to happen", but yet you still held on? It's the same idea. Perhaps your life has been a series of storms to be endured, and you're tired of fighting to hold on.. don't give up. Grab hold of that dream, know that God walks with you through each and every trial, and continue to go confidently in the direction of your dreams. You can do it. Choose to be led by your dreams, and not to be pushed around by your problems. The more time you invest dwelling on the problems in your life, the bigger they become...dream big, become solution oriented, and choose to allow the passion and excitement of your dreams take you where you want to go! You've got this! 

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Do Great Things

Every once in awhile I feel like we sometimes hit an autopilot mode, and it seems like we're just coasting through life...not going backwards, but also not accomplishing or achieving either. It's that dreaded neutral gear that seems so comfortable, but can be lethal to dreams and living a life of greatness, should we choose to continue on that path. You see, it's when we're pushing ourselves outside the known, outside of the comfortable, that's where the change happens...it's not the familiar that causes us to achieve, but rather the deliberate, daily decisions to change and to move ahead. This summer I was able to invest time in learning some key leadership principles that have truly shaped the way I live my life, and upon a recent reviewing of some notes, I came upon a list that was such a great reminder and catalyst for me to move out of what felt like an autopilot mode. It was so inspiring and motivating, I simply had to share in hopes that it may help you wherever you might be in life.

Keys to Accomplishment:

1. What gets talked about gets done. (Don't be afraid of repetition)

2. What gets trained for gets done. (When preparedness meets opportunity, success happens)

3. What gets measured gets done. (Tracking a goal increases momentum)

4. What gets budgeted gets done. (Both time & money)

5. What gets confronted gets done. (Accountability is key. Don't be afraid to ask yourself the hard questions)

6. What gets rewarded gets done. (Accomplishments should be celebrated)

Get out there and do great things! 

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Breaking Free

Have you ever felt weary, overwhelmed and bound up by schedules, deadlines and the monotony of everyday life? I sure have..and if you have too, this is for you.

What does it mean to be f r e e? 
Free: Liberated and released of things that shackle, ensnare and bind us up. To be without hinderance or confinement. Freedom. This enables us to become who we were meant to be, to grasp our purpose and run with it, arms reaching toward a life of divine significance, more than just a release of the monotony of daily life and the trappings of societal confines, but rather to embrace a promise, a new way of truly living, each breath a gift, a confirmation: "I am alive."

Inhale. Exhale. Blink. Smile. Your hearts beats for reasons, situations you do not yet know of, to shine brightly in places where darkness abounds. There is more to you than a mass of parts, each woven expertly together; you have a purpose. There is liberation, freedom and overwhelming passion awaiting you. This is beyond the limits of humanity and mankind in it's faults, past mind's comprehension, it is both a gift and a call...will you answer? Lift your head, the chains of the past are broken, shattered at your feet..walk again, better yet, run toward the most incredible adventure of your life with arms wide open, ready to embrace His grace.

You.  Are.  F r e e. 

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It's About Time!

5 more minutes of class, 10 days until vacation, 1 year until my next birthday...We're always thinking about time, counting down the minutes, days and hours or looking forward to things ahead. How do you view time in your life? Is it a blessing or a hinderance to your future? Personally, I've been on both sides of the issue..there's been times when it seemed like I was waiting forever for an answer or waiting for when I thought God should show up in a particular season/situation, and there's been times when there just wasn't enough time to accomplish all I'd planned.

Many of us, myself included, often see time as a constraint within which we operate, rather than a gift to use. We often hear people talking about how we have only a certain amount of time here on earth, and while this fact is indeed pertinent, how much more of an importance is there in the growth and things we're experiencing currently? I'm often guilty of looking forward to things ahead, and in the process, totally missing out on the beauty of the present moment. Others do the same thing, but only looking back to the past, and how things used to be/should have been.

It is said that all good things take time...lives, relationships, character. Something of substance and strength takes time to build, so as we are building lives of strong character and convictions, we must expect that it will take time. Instead of viewing time as a restraint, see it as grace to become a person of character. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says there's a time & a season for everything..this is truly liberating! The more we see time as a part of our building process, the more we begin to become the people God has called us to be!

Brian Houston, pastor of Hillsong Church, says, "God has graced us with time so the purposes and desires of our hearts can become a reality."

 I want that to be true of my life, and I hope the same for you also! I hope & pray that you will not only change your perception of time, but embrace it with open arms..see it as a friend and a tool to achieve God's will for your life! No longer a constraint, but grace to become the person you're created to be!

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